The Househunting Chronicles - Part 3 - The return of the Banker

Story till now: I had purchased a property in Nerul on the outskirts of Mumbai in early 2008. I finalized a sale transaction for the property recently and started looking for houses near Chembur in Mumbai close to where my parents stay. Had shared a few observations about the entire process in my previous blog posts.

Having finalized my dream home and paying a token to the builder, I started another painful process called 'Searching for a Home Loan'. Having taken a loan for my last purchase in 2008, I was quite experienced with the process and was aware of the various steps and processes. Since I had spent many sleepless nights in 2008 worrying about my loan disbursement I decided not to take any chances this time. My plan was simple - Apply to 2-3 banks at the same time and take the loan from the one which gives the best deal in terms of interest rate and speed of disbursement.

For the uninitiated let me first take yo guys through the process of a home loan sanction and disbursement in India. (Disclaimer: This is not a moronic Economic Times type articles meant for the retards)

Step 1: The collection of documents. Since I belong to the salaried class I shall cover aspects mainly related to my clan. If you have less than 2 years of work experience, please don't bother applying to a Private, MNC or a PSU bank for a home loan, you are better off trying with a NBFC.
Basic documents you will need are:
 - Salary Slips (3-6 months depending on the bank which you are applying to
 - Form 16 (1 - 3 years depending on the bank which you are applying to)
 - Bank Account statement (6 months minimum, and this is for the account into which your salary is paid)
 - PAN card copy (everyone needs it)
 - Identity and Address proof (Driving License or Passport Copy)
 - Photographs (1-4 depending on the bank where you apply)
 - IT returns (1-3 years, usually Form 16 should do, but some banks insist on this)

These are some basic documents which every bank asks for. I suggest that you make 3-4 sets and keep them ready. Please ensure that you sign on each and every page of all the documents. Most banks do this to confirm that the documents received are from prospective customer only and not someone else (to prevent fraud).

Now for the silly document requests.
 - Copies of degree / post graduation certificates (some PSU banks)
 - Copies of repayment records and closure letters of past loans (once again PSU banks and some NBFCs)
 - Recommendation letters from branch managers where you took education loans in the past (Bank of baroda actually asked me for this)
 - Appointment letter from present employer (some private banks and most PSU banks ask for this)
Tips:
 - If you are applying for a joint loan with the wife / husband, please keep a copy of your marriage certificate ready. if you haven't bothered getting your marriage registered forget about applying for a joint loan. (more tips about obtaining a marriage certificate in a later post)
 - If you have any personal loans / educational loans / car loans please mention it truthfully in the application form, else the bank credit will get back saying you withheld information from them.
 - There is a difference between a co-applicant and a joint applicant. A co applicant is a stupid concept introduced by banks to ensure that someone takes over the liability in case you die, the co applicants financials wont be considered for loan eligibility and he / she need not be a joint owner of the property. A joint applicant is also a joint owner of the property and his / her financials are considered to increase your loan eligibility.
 - If your loan amount is small (below Rs 25 lakhs) even Sales executives will throw attitude and collect your documents according to their convenience.

Step 2: Logging in the documents
This is where the home loan executive collects your documents and creates a file in your name. The file is checked for discrepancies like missed signatures, information missing from the home loan application form etc. In case there is any discrepancy then the executive will contact you again and get it rectified. Finally when your file is complete in all aspects, it is logged in the operations department of the Home loan vertical. This process is almost uniformly followed by most banks.

Tips:
 - The worst time to log in your file would be the last five days of a month. The executive will keep avoiding you on one pretext or the other. Most of them have disbursement targets and they are running around to get the disbursals in the cases which are already sanctioned. The best time to send your documents for processing would be the first 10 days of the month.

Step 3: The Verifications
This is a two part process, the first part consists of verification of your home and office address and telephone numbers. The second part consists of verifying your CIBIL records to check for any past defaults in loan payments / credit cards.

Tips:
 - In case you have a friend working in the credit card department of any bank please use your charm and get a copy of your CIBIL report for free beforehand. You can also get it through a painful process through the CIBIL site which is best avoided. Usually banks look for a CIBIL score of 750+ to sanction a loan
 - If you have some late payments in your credit card or personal loan accounts worry not, they are unsecured loans and a home loan is a secured one so the late payments don't matter so much. However a default is a serious matter and might result in you application being declined.
 - Many a times (especially with PSU banks) you repay a loan and they forget to update the CIBIL records. Always ensure that you have documentary proof of a loan repayment (statement / closure letter). This is important because outstanding loans on your CIBIL file will reduce your loan eligibility.

Step 4: The Approval
This is where the people in the credit department approve your home loan amount and give the go ahead to another department to issue the sanction letter to you.

This is just the start, we still have 2 more painful processes lined up which I shall cover in my next blog post. The technical and legal evaluation of the property can make or break your deal.

General Tips and Observations:
 - The first thing you need to be aware is how much loan you want and for how long. Private Banks usually finance 85% of the property value (this includes agreement value + stamp duty + registration). ICICI bank goes up to 89% in some cases. Banks like Kotak do this for their employees but not for external customers. PSU banks are generally more chindi and sometimes do only upto 80%. MNC banks also usually do 85%, for some senior employees they go upto 90%. So if your agreement value is 90 lakhs ad stamp duty and registration works out to Rs 10 lakhs. Most banks will want to give you only Rs 80 lakhs to Rs 85 lakhs. Rest has to be paid from your own pocket BEFORE loan disbursal. Bank will also ask you to show your account statement to evidence that the payment was indeed made from your own account.
 - In case you wish to get 90% funding, ICICI Bank or an NBFC (Indiabulls / Reliance / Dewan Housing Finance) would be your best bet. The interest rates in the NBFCs will be slightly higher (0.5% to 1% more thank bank rates).
 - Please make it very clear to all bank executives that you are negotiating with 2-3 banks for rates and approval terms, ensure that they give you an option to stop processing your papers once you have finalized something with a competitor. Once the sanction letter is out, no one will refund your processing fees.
 - Some banks (like HSBC) give 25 year loans, this is really helpful to increase your loan eligibility and reduce EMIs.
 - Some banks like Standard Chartered and HSBC have an interest saving product called Smart Home / Interest Saver. Its a very good product where all your savings go into a savings account linked to your home loan account. The tenor of your home loan keeps increasing according to the savings kept in your account.
 - Most banks have a tie up with General / Life Insurance providers to provide you with a term cover on your loan which reduces with your outstanding. Simply out, if you die the insurance company pays off your home loan and the property belongs to your family. However some banks force you to buy the insurance product and some even club the premium amount with your loan amount hence reducing your payout to the builder. Make it very clear to the sales executive if you want the insurance or not and ensure that the premium amount is kept out of your loan sanction.
 - Loan eligibility norms of most banks differ, however from experience I can safely say that PSU banks will show that you have the lowest loan eligibility. Private bank sand MNC banks are better.
 - If you are looking for low interest rates only please go to a PSU bank, however be warned that the sanction process takes 10-15 days there and largely depends on your relationship with the Branch Manager. Disbursal takes a further 15-20 days as their technical and legal evaluation procedures are too lengthy.
 - If the project is pre-approved / approved (for under construction properties) by a bank it makes a lot of sense to apply for a loan there as the legal and technical evaluation is already done. For a property which is for ready possession and if you are buying through a builder please enquire and find out which banks have financed flats in the building and approach those to reduce the time to disbursal.
 - Resale properties (where you are buying from the house owner) are slightly trickier. Most banks wont touch a flat if the building cooperative society is not formed yet. If the society is not formed please talk to the sales executive upfront and give your papers for processing only if he confirms that his bank finances such projects. Better still, give a copy of the previous sale agreement and related documents to the sales executive so that he can check and confirm.
 - If you are buying a property in Navi Mumbi be careful, two main issues: firstly the way the builders calculate super built up there is totally different from the way Mumbai city builders calculate it. As a result my 865 sq ft Chembur apartment is larger than my 970 sq ft Nerul one. Secondly there are two types of building plots Gaothan plots where the builder has purchased land from a villager who used to own it and CIDCO plots where the developmental authority (CIDCO in this case) sells the plot directly to the builder. Most banks will easily finance the second case and stay away from the first one. This is simply because in a Gaothan plot other family members of the villager might stake a claim to the plot in future and demand money from the builder and the property might get involved in a legal dispute. However a Gaothan plot becomes cool once a society if formed.

Enough gyan about the loan approval part for now. Please to let me know your views and feedback.

Coming Soon: So Long and Thanks for the House (where we evaluate the technical and legal aspects of a loan disbursal)

Previous posts about Househunting:
The Joke called Property websites
The Broker strikes back

The Househunting Chronicles: Part 2 - The Broker strikes back

In my last post I mentioned how property portals like MagicBricks and 99Acres have been useless in helping me find a property to buy which fits within my budget (upto Rs 90 lakhs). I was resigned to using the neighbourhood brokers to continue my search. So armed with the numbers of some brokers me and my dad started doing rounds of their offices.

Stop 1: A fat lady who claims to have sold many many houses in the area asks us point blank if we have the money to buy a property. I felt quite offended by the rude question and offered an irritated response saying that why else would we come to her. To this the lady said that she merely wanted to confirm if the deal for my Nerul property had been concluded and if I had the money to make a downpayment. That angered me and we walked out. I hated her attitude and made a mental note to ensure that I mention this to all my friends and acquaintances who were planning to buy a property in Chembur.

Stop 2: The real estate brokerage arm of one of the leading MNC banks of the country. This one was recommended to me by the wife. Their executive calls us to Diamond garden and promises to show us a 2BHK flat near Amar Cinema at Chembur, the cost of the flat isRs 75 lakhs. We reach at the given time, wait for 15 mins for the guy to show up, he leads the way on his bike and we follow in my car. Instead of taking a left turn to go towards Amar Cinema he takes a right and starts leading me towards Basant Cinema. I wonder if we heard wrong. He stops at a building there and says he is showing us a 3BHK flat now and will show us the 2BHK after that. We point out that we dont want a 3BHK becuse its not within my budget, he gives me the usual broker bullshit 'Sir dekh to lo, kya pata pasand aa jayega'. We see the house and like it a lot, but its quoted at Rs 1 cr so obviously beyond my budget. I once again mention my budget to the guy and tell him that I want to see house that are below this or equal to this amount. He nods his head. Next to took me to a building in the middle of nowhere and showed me a tiny pigeonhole which had rooms as big as my kitchen (seriously, I am not joking). The quoted price for the house was Rs 75 lakhs. No way on earth was I even going to consider it. The executive later called my wife and offered to show similar good properties, thankfully she politely declined.

Stop 3: My parents then went to the broker who had helped my Dad rent an office in Chembur. He showed them around 5-6 properties which either they did not like or were way beyond our budget. Finally he showed them a project which quoted an affordable rate and he claimed that he had done a deal a month ago at a rate which was Rs 200 per square ft lower than the amount quoted by the builder. Parents loved the property and told me about it. I too was kicked about it because it was a 16 storeyed tower with a swimming pool, club house and all that jazz. However I wanted to approach the builder directly and negotiate a rate. Here I made a big mistake, in my eagerness to get that Rs 200 discount, I told my Dad that we should inform the broker and tell him that we will give him a brokerage only if he manage to get us substantial discount.
A time was fixed and we headed to the builders office, the broker didn't bother calling us before the meeting. However when we were looking at the flat which we wanted to book, he called my Dad. Now I was irritated with him because he didn't bother calling us before and also because my friends recommended I deal directly with the builder, so I asked Dad to make an excuse and cut him out. Dad said he was out and would call him later. After looking at the flat we walked back to the builders office and our beloved broker was waiting for us there.
We began our negotiations with the builders representative, Mr Broker just kept quiet. My Dad finally told him to get us a good discount else he wont get his brokerage, so his highness finally 'requested' the builder "Sir, thoda kam kar dijiye please". I was irritated beyond my wits. Somehow we concluded our negotiations with Dad and My best friend (who is quite knowledgeable about property deals) being the major participants and managed to get a price which just about fitted into our budget. However the discount which we got was nowhere close to what the broker promised my dad.
Later on we found out that in fact this particular broker had not even closed the deals he was mentioning. And the price at which he quoted he closed the deal was also incorrect, the actual price was much higher. It seems he just made up the story to impress us and ensure that he gets something out of this deal.

We finalised the property and paid a token to the builder directly, Mr Broker-Who-wanted-a-small-cut was nowhere to be found and we decided to cut him out of the deal. If he comes back to fight Dad might give him a small token amount simply for the effort he put in to show them some properties.

Learnings:
1. Most brokers wont even show interest in you if your budget is small, they will throw massive attitude and behave as if they are doing you a favour by showing you some houses.
2. A lot of brokers tend to boast about the deals which they have done and their great contacts. Ideally you should make discreet enquiries within your circle, if that's not possible observe the broker closely. How soon can the broker get the keys to a flat, how soon can he get you a meeting with the owners etc will tell you a lot about how effective the broker is.
3. If a builder still has a site office in a ready possession project, do not even think of going through a broker. The builder will obviously give you a bigger discount as he does not have to pay the broker. Going through a broker makes sense only when the broker can ensure you a fixed discount over the last quote of the builder.
4. For under construction projects, ALWAYS talk to the builder directly.
5. A broker will usually try to show you flats which he wants to sell not what you want to buy. So if you want a 2BHK within a budget of 80 lakhs, he will show you a 3BHK with a budget of 1 cr first. Some brokers do this to show you how property rates are high and your budget is ridiculous, some do it in the hope that maybe you will like the property and might exceed your budget in trying to buy it.
6. The brokerage of the broker is ALWAYS negotiable.

Services you should insist your broker provide:
1. Negotiating the rate as per your budget not a compromise between what the owner wants and whats your final limit.
2. Helping you resolve any payment disputes / delays with the owners
3. Helping you with documentation (property related) for bank loans

There is a breed called as a 'good' and 'effective' broker, although its in danger of extinction. Finding one of this species will take some time and you might have to deal with lots of assholes

The joke called property websites

I recently sold my house in Nerul, Navi Mumbai and plan to buy a flat near my parent's house in Chembur in Mumbai soon. I consider myself tech savvy, so instead of doing rounds of the offices of  Real estate brokers, I decided to use technology to help myself find a buyer (for the flat in Nerul) and a seller (for a flat in Chembur). Have jotted down some observations and experiences in this process.

The Selling Part:
After checking with friends and searching the net, I shortlisted two websites where I wanted to post my property 99Acres and MagicBricks. The listing part was easy and within a couple of days of listing my property I started getting responses through SMS and E-Mails. Most of these responses were from brokers in the area. Despite having posted ALL the detail about the house (Area, exact location, expected price, full cheque payment expected etc), I kept on getting calls from brokers asking for these basic details again and again. Even when I reiterated that all the details are on the sites and I could give them the property id on the site to check them out these morons insisted that they could not see the details on the site and only my phone number was visible.
Within a week of registering on MagicBricks I could not see the contact details of the people who had responded to my post, I could view the contact details only if I bought a listing package from them which cost around Rs 1000 for a month. Since I wanted to reach out to a wide audience I relented and purchased the listing package. 99Acres was slightly better, they allow a months free listing and then give you the option to go in for a paid one. As soon as the month was over their sales executives started calling me for an upgrade, which I agreed to, once again I paid Rs 1000, but I got a listing for 3 months instead.
Having paid for a premium listing on both the sites, the response picked up gradually and I started getting quite a few calls (2-3 on a weekday and 5-6 on weekends). the only disappointing fact was that 90% of these calls were from brokers who made me painfully narrate each and every detail about the property again and drove me to a point of severe irritation.
Finally my property deal was finalised, but not through any broker or a prospect through these sites, it was a relative of a family who stayed in my building who was interested. It was the old friend, family and neighbour network which came to my rescue.

Learnings:
1. These sites are helpful to get the market to know that you are selling, but be prepared that 90% of your responses will be brokers. Still it saves you the trouble to go to meet them individually.
2. Most brokers are not so tech savvy (at least in Navi Mumbai), they have an office boy or a receptionist sitting and searching these sites for listing by Owners of properties and then call them for details. No one bothers to read your post properly.
3. These property sites are quite money minded (especially MagicBricks) and expect you to pay for listing your property. However the listing is cheaper than a classified ad in a newspaper andguarantees better response. So its quite VFM actually.

So, If you are looking to sell your property, I would definitely recommend a listing in property portals. Even if you don't want to pay commission to a broker, it helps you get an idea of what the market is offering, besides it always helps to have a couple of offers from brokers on the table when you negotiate with direct parties. Just a word of caution, please be patient and prepared to explain each and every detail of your property over the phone to these brokers. And remember, most families prefer seeing houses on afternoons on weekends, so be prepared for lots of calls during that time (I suffered a lot because of this as I usually try to catch up on sleep on Sunday afternoons).

The Buying Part:
I am looking to buy a 2BHK apartment in Chembur. I based my budget on listings available on 99Acres and MagicBricks. I tried searching for 2BHK apartments between Rs 60 lakhs and Rs 80 lakhs in Chembur on through 99Acres (in fact they just have a Rs 60 Lakhs to Rs 1 Cr option to search) and got 19 responses which were within my criteria, for the same criteria in MagicBricks I got over 100 responses. So obviously I was happy that property prices are still not so high and I will finally be able to buy that house within my budget. I planned accordingly and started saving money, liquidated some investments and prepared myself to buy a flat within a couple of months (this was beginning of Sep-10). Being the planner that I am, I did not call any of the listings till I had some money ready for downpayment / token, the bank loan part could be taken care of later.
So finally I started calling these listings on Sunday, as expected, more than 95% of the listing were through brokers. On calling them, most of them quoted a price between Rs 90 lakhs and Rs 1.20 Cr for a 2BHK flat in Chembur, when I pointed out that their listing on the site said something else they said that that property was sold and now they have properties in this range only. The first two times, I thought maybe this is true, its quite easy to sell a 2BHK in Chembur for Rs 75 lakhs. But then after calling 8 different brokers I realised all of them were bullshitting. They just buy bulk listing on these sites, the property description for every 2BHK sounds the same and the actual location is almost never ever mentioned ( a few exceptions to this), all the prices are between Rs 70 lakhs to Rs 80 lakhs and ALL the brokers claimed that these properties were just sold off last week.
After being disappointed by the broker clan, I decided to check if any actual owners had listed their properties. I found zero matches on 99Acres and around 10 matches on MagicBricks. Once again I was in for a disappointment when I called the so called owner, I realised that he was a broker and had only listed himself as an owner to get more responses.
Some brokers have offered to show me some apartments in Chembur in the bracket of Rs 80 lakh plus but I am not so hopeful and have resigned myself to a long wait. In fact some brokers didn't even talk properly when they were informed that my budget was ONLY upto Rs 80 lakhs, a couple promptly cut off my call rudely and did not even bother to pick up when I called subsequently.

Learnings:
1. 95% of listings to sell properties on property portals are by brokers. All the properties listed by a particular broker will have similar description and no indication of the actual location of the property within a locality.
2. Most low prices quoted are only to attract buyers, almost all the brokers will claim that the property was sold recently and now the rate has increased by 10-15%. In fact one particular broker had 5 2BHK flats listed for Rs 75 lakhs, he coolly told me that there must be some mistake on the site and they must have listed 5 such flats by mistake, the only one he had was sold last week only.
3. If you wish to search for a house in any locality in Mumbai through a property portal, please be prepared to pay brokerage fees + 10 - 15% to the average cost of apartments quoted on the websites.

So if you wish to purchase a property, use these portals only as indicators. None of the listings on them are reliable and most of the brokers are listed only to reach out to prospects. A trip to your neighbourhood broker is highly recommended. I have once again put all my hopes on the friend, family and neighbours network to get something within my budget and would recommend you do the same.

Movie + TV Series Notes

Movie watching has not been as frequent this year as it has been in the past, however I have not missed any movie which I really wanted to watch. My two-bit opinion / advice on some of the stuff I have seen this year.

Hindi Films:
Udaan: By far the best movie of the year according to me. Great performances, good music and a story that strikes the right chord. A highly recommended watch according to me.

Peepli Live: A nice satire on media and problems faced due to poverty. The concept is good, but the media portrayal is slightly cliched. However good performances and great music more than make up for it. I loved the movie, hope you did too.

Ishqiya: Naseeruddin Shah acting and a Vishal Bharadwaj protege directing meant that this movie was a must watch for me. It did not disappoint me at all. A tight script and good performances keeps the audience engrossed. Although I expected more from the end, overall the movie was decent enough and well worth the money spent on the tickets.

Once upon a time in Mumbai: I have always been a sucker for gangster flicks, so this was one of the most anticipated movies of the year for me. Ajay Devgan rocked in a role tailor made for him. Emran Hashmi was convincing enough. Kangana Ranaut and Prachi Desai hardly had any roles. The story appealed to me and so did the performances. Direction was also good. Once again paisa-vasool for me.

Rajneeti: This was once again in my must watch list along with 'One upon a time..'.  A Godfather - Mahabharata based plot needs to be handled with great care. Prakash Jha did not disappoint and gave us an excellent political drama. Although some scenes forcibly tried to draw parallels with Godfather / Mahabharata, the first half of the movie was really good. The second half was some sort of a letdown and the movie dragged in parts. Nana Patekar and Manoj Bajpai were very good. Ajay Devgan was sidelined and I do not think Katrina Kaif is a good actress (contrary to what many critics and her retarded fans think). But Politics + Godfather + Mahabharata made this movie a good enough reason to spend money on those expensive multiplex tickets.

Amongst the rest, I found Dabangg extremely entertaining, in fact it was the first Salman Khan movie I liked after Maine Pyar Kiya. Full on paisa-vasool, highly recommended, cinematic brilliance be damned.

English Films:
Inception: My favourite film of the year. Nolan is one of the best directors of his generation and he delivers a brilliant story with superb execution. Leo is slowly becoming a star of psychological thrillers (after Shutter Island) and gives a good performance yet again, no wonder the likes of Scorsese keep repeating him in movies. The rest of the cast is also very good (Ellen Page in particular has lived up to the promise which she showed in Juno). In my opinion this has all the makings of a cult film (like the Matrix series). My brother pointed out that its story is similar to the manga 'Paprika', well people also said that Matrix was similar to Dark City and borrowed concepts from Neuromancer. Its the script treatment and execution that matters and I give full marks to Nolan in this department.

Up in the Air: I quite liked the book so was looking forward to the movie. Highly recommended. Brilliant performances. I don't think I need to say more.

Alice in Wonderland: I am a big Johnny Depp fan, somehow he brings life to eccentric and weird characters and makes them memorable. However I was disappointed by his Madhatter turn this time, looks like it was forced upon him. However the movie was okay and with the 3-D visuals it makes for an entertaining watch.

Ironman -2: I though Robert Downey Jr played the coolest superhero in the first movie and was expecting lots from it. Yes, he is still cool, but now some parts of the script once again force the wit upon us. Make it natural people. The problem with franchises like Hulk and Ironman is that there is not enough scope for creativity in terms of villains (unlike a Spiderman or X -Men). But the producers / director have done a good job within the constraints. It was worth the money spent on the movie ticket.

What I am really looking forward to is Wall Street-2 next week and of course the biggie - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1.

TV Series:
With Indian television still crowded by mediocre (but highly entertaining) reality shows and sub standard saas-bahu serials one has to look towards the west for entertaining shows. A quick recap of what I have been watching and my recommendations.

Entourage: My favourite show. I liked the way season 7 started, eagerly looking forward to the last few episodes (could not catch the season finale online). Ari Gold is one of my all time favourite characters (along with Hank Moody and the Jack Bauer) and I think once the show winds up there should be a short series centered around him.

Californication: Started watching this on the recommendation of my brother and loved it. Yeah the profanities and nudity are slightly excessive, but the show has some great performances and a really good script. Just finished season 3 and am eagerly looking forward to season 4.

Mad Men: I started watching this because of the loads of awards which this show has won. Now I can see why. A very good storyline about the advertising industry and some good performances make it a gripping watch. Am just about to finish season 1 and will start season 2.

Modern Family: Just started watching this yeaterday and I like what I see. Its quite funny. More on it later.

Dirty Sexy Money: A very good concept, this could have been a really interesting series, but it sucked. Bad performances and a stupid script spoilt what could have been a good show. No wonder it was taken off the air in two seasons.

Las Vegas: Its more like a documentary on the functioning of a casino in Vegas. I expected much more from it, but was very disappointed. I finished season 1 and stopped watching it. None of the characters are memorable or even likeable.

Other Favourites: I loved Lost and 24. Lost definitely deserves a second watching through seasons 1-7. Have seen only a couple of seasons of 24, but loved what I saw, will start season 3 soon.

Yet to Try: Friends have recommended Scrubs (a British series) and Dexter, will catch a season of both soon and share my notes.

The Honest PM

When Dr Manmohan Singh took oath as the PM for the second time many people in the country heaved a sigh of relief. A Congress government meant that it will be stable and will last its full term and a highly educated PM with an impressive resume meant that the country will be governed well. Of course the cabinet was full of Congress old timers with an infamous past but with Singh at the helm most people expected all to be well because he was a good man and above all a honest person - a rarity in politics.

Things seem to have gone really downhill in this term of his. The rising prices, the maoist menace, scams galore, train accidents etc. Not a single person has blamed Dr Singh for it, it was all due to the incompetent ministers in his cabinet, what could the poor man do. Yes, he did make statements from time to time condemning all that was wrong with the country, making the customary promise of punishing the guilty and hoping that all would be well again. As a country we seem to have absolved him of all blame for the shit we are in currently. The only reason is the same old screwed up thinking we have that an honest man can do no wrong.

Is honesty the only requirement of a good leader? Yes, he is highly educated and knows the intricacies of administration but does this guy have the guts in him to lead the nation. In my opinion - an emphatic no. The entire country knew he was a nominee PM to be controlled by Sonia Gandhi when he took oath for the first time and rightly so. Most of the shots in major policy decisions were called by Ms Gandhi. However the PM surprised the nation by showing a lot of courage and threatening to step down when the Nuclear Bill was in danger of being scuttled. This made a lot of skeptics eat their words and infused a new found sense of belief in the PM. A lot of expected in his second term and the guy has failed on all parts. He has betrayed the millions of people who out faith in him and believed in him (okay that might sound harsh and melodramatic but I think you get the point).

Firstly the government is still clearly ruled by Ms Gandhi and her cronies. We have old congress sycophants taunting and mocking cabinet ministers and misusing the machinery. Digvijay Singh took on the Home Minister and said a lot of uncharitable things, maybe the PM thought that Chidambaram will take care of it. Obviously the Congress High Command never made a statement. We have two bit shady operators like Suresh Kalmadi openly telling the press that they will step down only if Ms Gandhi asks them to. The last I heard was that the PM is the most powerful man in the country and most government bodies and associations ultimately report in to him. Still time and again unscrupulous individuals have openly mocked the PM and claimed that Ms Gandhi is their boss and they take orders only from her. Sonia on her part has not made any attempt to correct it.

That the cabinet is tainted by corrupt minister is an understatement. However I dont recollect the PM openly making any statement or rebuking any minister for his conduct. A Raja continues to mint crores for himself and his boss in TN and the PM along with the Congress High Command choose to turn a blind eye to it. If its a matter of threatening or silencing political rivals like Narendra Modi, Mulayam Singh Yadav and Mayawati, the CBI can easily be convinced to speed up its investigation and prepare a charge sheet in record time, but if its for investigating various scams conducted by cabinet ministers either the CBI is not given any explicit orders or the investigation is allowed to take its own sweet time and the die a natural death. We have civil aviation ministers who openly favour private airlines, we have petroleum ministers who openly favour a private company against PSUs and an agriculture minister who is mostly absent or busy manipulating cricket in the country but yet the PM does not have the time to step in and sort the mess which these idiots have created.

Trains continue colliding and derailing in the country and the stupid railway minister continues making flimsy excuses and blaming her enemies for every mishap, still the PM refuses to step in and ensure the safety of the millions of passengers who travel by trains in this country. Maoists continue killing policemen but the home minister is left to fight against them, the PM continue making statements that they are a threat and will be countered but cannot announce any firm steps or an effective strategy. He cannot even stop his illustrious colleague from singing their praises and calling the government murderers. Ladies and gentlemen we are talking about a man here who cannot stand up for himself and his principles forget the country. Routinely he is humiliated and sidelined by colleagues in his own party who run to Rahul baba for every small thing or continue reminding him that Madam is their boss. His cabinet colleagues indulge in blatant corruption and careless acts that endanger the lives of millions and yet he cannot do a thing about it due to political compulsions or concern for self survival. Yet he is the second longest serving PM of the country.

His stature and statesmanlike conduct was one of the reasons why he was considered ideal for the top job. Yet no one in his own cabinet listens to him. Ministers continue fighting against each other but our man cannot moderate a fight let along find a solution. I think the Jairam Ramesh vs everyone else and the telecom vs defense ministry wars will continue. When things get ugly and out of hand Pranab Babu steps in and saves the day once again reminding Madam of his loyalty and trying to show her that he should have been PM in fact. Even when Kashmir was burning Dr Singhs feeble appeal for peace and an all party meet was rejected by trouble mongers like Mehbooba Mufti. In fact all his recent attempts to reach out to his colleagues or countrymen have been met with skepticism and guarded contempt.

So basically we are happy having a PM who:
 - Cannot stop his corrupt cabinet ministers from looting the taxpayers money
 - Is regularly sidelined and humiliated by his party colleagues who remind him that Ms Sonia Gandhi is their boss and not him.
 - Cannot control the infighting amongst his cabinet members
 - Cannot pull up errant and useless ministers like Pawar and Mamta who spend more time pursuing their own interests than look at the ministries they control.
 - Cannot control the unabated violence unleashed by the Maoists across the nation, does not have any strategy to tackle them.
 - Is not even heard by leaders of two bit parties like PDP when he calls for peace and an all party meet.
 - Will not or cannot authorise to expedite CBI investigations against his cabinet colleagues.

Sorry about that bullet point things, I seem to be obsessed with it lately to make my point come across clearly.

The facts are clear, so we need to decide now, are we willing to ignore the above follies just because the man is educated and honest?

Why Athletes deserve all the money they earn.

Note: This article is mainly against criticizing athletes who earn high amounts of money through playing fees or endorsements. The greater need of the hour is to make efforts towards making sports a viable profession in developing countries and I shall touch upon that in a later post.

People who watch a sport casually or follow it passionately often have a lot of comments on the money earned by sporting personalities, mainly cricketers (in India). Most criticism is centered on the fact that the high endorsement amounts paid to them will affect their on field performance. The underlying assumption here is that the athlete will have to allocate some days to his / her sponsors for shooting commercials and other promotional activities which in turn will reduce time available for training. Another school of thought opines that some sports personalities are paid mainly for their looks and not their sporting abilities, hence creating a wrong impression in the minds of young sportsmen. Many experts have made cases that the salaries paid to players in cricketers / footballers / basketball / baseball / Ice Hockey players in IPL / European Football leagues / NBA / MLB / NHL are outrageous. I beg to differ on all these points and would like to present my argument below.

Why the best deserve a higher pay

Any sport is a highly specialized field and only the best people in that field play professionally and / or get to represent their country. Now in our day to day life the top people in various fields are paid significantly more than other people in that field. We don't mind paying extra money to the best doctors or the best lawyers to render their services. Even in the private sector the top performing talent is paid significantly more than the rest of the crop. Agreed that these professionals / salaried employees are paid to do a particular work in which they excel and NOT for other activities. The case of an athlete is slightly different (somewhat like an actor).

Any athlete gets paid mainly for 2 things: 1. To play the sport 2. For promoting / endorsing any product or service. Most critics have a problem with them getting paid for point 2, pay them extra money for playing the game, reward them for any accolades they win for their team / country. However there is a slight difference between a sportsman and a doctor / lawyer or a private sector employee for that matter, a sportsman plays the game in the view of millions of fans, helps shape the view of many youngsters and is an opinion leader in many spheres of influence. Like an actor, model or a writer, the work or skill of a sportsman is viewed by many people. So like actors or models (or a writer in some instances) a sportsman should also have the opportunity to promote products or services. It goes without saying that no company will consider offering any money for endorsements to someone who is not popular. Like any other sphere of life the top performing sportsman should be paid significantly more than others in that sport. (which justifies the salaries in major sporting leagues around the world).

And if the performance of the athlete is not commensurate with his pay, I think the market will take care of it automatically. His employer (the team owner) will definitely not want to pay such a huge amount to an under performer and due to lack of good performances the popularity of the athlete will be affected which will have some effect on his endorsements.

Essentially am trying to make two main points:

1. Like the professional world or the private sector, the best athletes in their chosen sport should get paid significantly more than the other average and mediocre performers.
2. Since a sportsman (or woman) is a popular person whose skill is viewed by many people who like the game, he or she can shape opinion or influence decisions to a certain extent, hence it makes sense for companies to offer high endorsements to them.

Looks are a big plus.

Another area where people tend to complain is the fact that a good looking athlete makes much more money than what he or she deserves, from David Beckhem to Anna Kournikova to Maria Sharapova, globally critics have an issue with the fact that the endorsements which they get have little to do with their sporting prowess and more with their looks.

Lets take an example closer to home. Many friends of mine have an issue with the fact that Sania Mirza gets a lot of money from endorsements than someone like Saina Nehalwal, who is considered more talented and is much closer to the top in her sport (World No. 2 at the time of writing). I agree partly. Yes, I believe that Saina Nehalwal deserves much more endorsements and rewards than what she currently gets but I do not agree with the fact that Sania Mirza does not deserve what she gets. Agreed that she is nowhere close to the top in Tennis and that her form has been slipping. Tennis as a sport is much more popular than Badminton, its played actively in over 80 countries compared to a handful of countries which play badminton. Tennis as a sport has a much larger television audience than badminton. Of course this is not poor Saina's fault and she still remains the country's best bet to win an individual Olympic medal after our shooters. Like in real life, a manager in a large multinational company gets paid much more than his counterpart in a small local company. This is simply because he handles much more work and responsibilities because of the size of his company.

Similarly Sania caters to a much larger audience who like tennis and being one of the top Asian players in the sport has her bunch of followers. The fact that she is good looking helps her cause, but then again how many of us disagree that good looks + talent is a lethal combination. Most of us have some kind of subconscious bias for someone who is better looking (assuming talent and capability is at the same level). Yes we all would love to deny it and claim that beauty is only skin deep but seriously, if you had to sell a million soap bars would you want the plain jane to endorse it when you could get the beauty to do it? The point that I am trying to make here is that Sania should not be discriminated against because she is good looking. She is still India's top tennis player and is one of the top 5 Asian women in the game. And Asia houses one third of the worlds population, which is reason enough for her to get all those endorsements. The fact that marketing managers need to wake up and consider champions like Saina is another matter which I will discuss in another post.

Yes, good looking athletes tend to get paid more money (especially by sponsors for endorsements), but its a fact of life as explained above, the media / critics / sporting fans should channelise their energies to promote deserving performers who can get much more sponsorships rather than harping on the fact that some get lots due to their looks.

Career and Job Security

Apart from the US and a few European countries playing a sport is not considered a viable profession anywhere else in the world (unless of course you have rich parents). This is simply because an average athlete can rarely earn enough money to support him / herself forget supporting an entire family. Even the top athletes in some sports / countries earn money which can hardly to compared to their professionally employed counterparts.

Once again, lets take an Asian example. A management graduate from a top business school is a much sought after commodity in the job markets worldwide. Let consider a cliched example of an engineer-MBA. This is a person who has sacrificed many things in the 18 years of education which he or she had to endure. When I say sacrifice, I mean that engineering and management being tough streams of study where a lot of time has to be invested in studying and mastering concepts. I am only talking about the average student here, obviously there will be the super-talented people who breezed through their studies and also had the time to cultivate many hobbies on the side. Anyways, coming back to the main point, after studying rigorously for 18 years this individual is rewarded with a promising career in the corporate world. This career on an average spans 25 years (lesser if you are the type who would want to retire after earning enough to lead a comfortable life). The money earned by the person increases every year (or maybe stays the same in case there is a recession, am ignoring the possibility of a pay cut). Under normal circumstances the income of any salaried employee or professional will increase at a slightly higher pace than inflation in his country.

Now the management graduate has to spend this money on basic necessities of life and his or her family with the option of investing the savings which remain. Now consider a sportsman, typically a world class player in any sport must have started young, meaning that education must have been incomplete or affected in some manner (many US universities have sports scholarships, a phenomenon which is yet to be popular across the world). The average career of a sportsman is 10-12 years and unless you retire while you are at the top the earnings pattern follows a bell curve, starting with low income, increasing as the sportsman reaches his peak and then tapers towards the end. So essentially we take away a bunch of facts summarized below from this comparison.

1. The average career span of a sportsperson is almost half of that of a typical salaried employee or a professional like a lawyer or doctor.
2. While the expected income and savings of a typical salaried employee or professional can be predicted to a certain extent under standard assumptions (a growing economy, no recession etc), that of a sportsperson cannot be predicted due to the presence of a variety of external factors which affect his performance like form, physical fitness etc.
3. A salaried employee (or a professional for that matter) has to provide for basic necessities for self and the family from his income, a sportsman also has to provide for fitness and skill development in addition to basic necessities (mainly applicable for individual sports), so the ability to save money is slightly less.
4. Once the career of a salaried person is over, he or she can use the skills developed over the career span to start a business or providing consultancy services, in case of a sportsperson, it is safe to assume that only the top 10 percentile of the popular athletes are lucky enough to get into coaching or commentating. The rest of the people at 90th percentile or below have minimal or no use of the skills developed during the sporting career.
5. With less education that a salaried employee and no significant work skill developed during a sporting career, the probability of an ex-athlete getting a job once retired is much lower that that of a salaried person.

Now with the above assumptions (which can be proved within reasonable limits), don't you think it is fair that a person who has a career which is only half as long as that of an average individual should get the chance to at least earn at least 60-70 pct of what a normal person would earn in his lifetime withing those 10-12 years. Considering the fact that an athlete has to use both the mind and the body in unison to achieve his desired goals, it can be safely concluded that his work has a degree of difficulty which is atleast a notch higher that what is required in normal office work (where we use 80pct mind and 20pct body on a regular day). Why should the athlete not get paid extra money for this work?

If someone offered a job to you where there was no job security, a danger of getting physically injured, no additional benefits like medical reimbursements, paid leave and insurance, would you be interested in doing the job? Even if you agree to do the job wont you expect to a paid an amount of money which is significantly higher that what you earn today? Few of us would take this risk, especially when we are aware of the fact that a serious injury (for which we might not even be compensated) could mean an end to our professional career. An athlete is someone who has the guts to take such a big risk so obviously the returns for him / her must also be high (isn't this what those finance profs taught us?).

On writing and my fascination for Metropolis

As I admitted in a previous blog post, I started this blog because blogging was cool at that time. Lots of people I knew were doing it so I jumped on to the bandwagon. However as time passed by I figured that writing can help me vent better. Of courses grievances against the family and friends will never make it to the blog, they are too personal, but against everything else (read the system) definitely will. But the busy and important banker that I think I am, the time to do this was also not found and blog posts were just one or two line life updates or movie recommendations. As time passed I also figured that I like telling stories, (someday I will blog about that day when a spellbound audience sat and listened as I explained the origins of the Mumbai Underworld and regaled them with stories about Vardarajan Mudaliar, Haji Mastan, Karim Lala and Dawood Ibrahin) and wanted to make lots of them (actually many are floating in my head but I need either a good beginning or an ending to complete them).

A simple aim which I set for myself was that I need to have at least 20 good stories ready by the time my kid is of an age when he or she can listen and enjoy them. Maybe this was my subcoscious way of giving myself lots of time so that all the lethargy and bouts of blank mindedness be taken care of. But now I have a realistic aim in front of me, so the stories shall be written. Not all shall be posted on the blog, but some definitely will make it here, so please keep checking from time to time (this is specially for the two and a half readers who read my blog regularly).

My first attempt at writing short stories was when I tried to create Metropolis. Being a huge science fiction and fantasy fan, I wanted to write something in that genre. However I soon realised that most books in this genre sound similar and most draw inspiration from Tolkein and C S Lewis (many don't but most of the ones I have read do). The worst part is that they all claim to be original, no doubt the stories were interesting but that was mainly because in my mind is programmed to love magic, heroes and adventures, just add some characters and you have a good story. But I wanted to write something original and different which was next to impossible given the reading influences I grew up with. So the idea for Metropolis was born.

The world which I am trying to create is where all the characters I love live together and fight together. Instead of lying and claiming that I have created a new race or a new land, I have shamelessly used all the concepts and ideas which I liked ad have created a crossover universe. Of course credit has been given wherever its due (Tolkien is a god in my universe and so is George Lucas). Since this is not a book or something which I intend to publish I dont see any legal issues here. Its just some fun and entertainment using speculative fiction. Which Sci-Fi / Fantasy fan would not like to see a Jedi Knight face off with a wizard or for that matter see Godzilla fighting fire breathing dragons. Well Metropolis has many such instances along with a original story.

So if any of you people out there like Fantasy mixed with Science, Marital arts and some mythology thrown in, please come back and read Tales from the Metropolis.

Thoughts on Recent Movies

This year has not been so active for me on the movie watching front. I am nowhere close to my 'a movie a week' days. One of the reasons is that I have become slightly more selective in the movies I watch these days, so no more watching movies because everyone else is watching it, it does not mean that I read a review before I watch every movie, I still watch many movies (and regret sometimes) because they sound or look interesting, but wherever I have a doubt, I wait for a review. This is because movie watching ain't cheap anymore. Despite having a multiplex which is minimum rickshaw fare away from home, the tickets, the crappy samosas, popcorn and pepsi prices still hurt.

Udaan is the best Hindi movie I have watched this year. A different story which strikes a chord and touches the heart and great performances make it a must watch. Second on my list of good movies this year is Love Sex aur Dhokha. First let me admit that I am a huge Dibakar Bannerjee fan. I absolutely loved Khosla ka Ghosla and Oye Lucky.., so my expectation from this one were sky high. And he did deliver, he took a risky proposition, unknown actors and made it into fascinating cinema. I see him right up there with Vishal Bharadwaj amongst the great directors in Bollywood today. Apart from this I enjoyed watching Ishqiya a lot, mainly for its performances. Raat Gayi Baat Gayi was also worth a watch. Rajneeti deserves a mention, I liked it, although I felt that the end was slightly long drawn, it would have been in the top two had the Mahabharat and Godfather tributes not been taken so seriously.

Raavan was the most horrible movie I have seen this year. I used to be a big Mani Rathanam fan, I enjoyed both Yuva and Guru immensely and expected a masterpiece from his. Besides I am a sucker for historical tales being retold differently. Simply put Raavan was a bad movie. The story moved extremely slowly and the performances were bad. Apart from the music and the great locations there was nothing in the movie, script, direction and performance was almost non existent. Housefull was another irritating movie from the Nadiadwala - Sajid Khan partnership. I thought that Sajid Khan must have reformed after Hey Baby and will give us an intelligent comedy, what we got instead was a silly gag. Can someone please tell them that slapstick is no longer fun. I used to laugh at people fumbling and falling and getting hit on their sensitive spots when I was five years old, I am 28 now and I will hugely appreciate it if some effort went into writing a script which could make me laugh. Akshay Kumar has natural comic timing and I absolutely loved him in Hera Pheri and Garam Masala. I seriously think that he should stick to working with good directors like Priyadarshan (yes he also makes silly movies sometimes) and stay away from retards like Sajid Khan and Shirish Kunder. Maybe my criticism is very harsh, but its from the heart, I blew up more than a grand and got the family to watch this movie in a fancy mall and there was a nice expensive lunch also thrown in after the movie.

On the english movie front Up in the Air looked was great and so was Inception. I was skeptical before watching Inception, I didn't understand Memento properly when I first saw it and I was expecting another confusing ride. But surprisingly I understood the movie and enjoyed it thoroughly. Nolan is a genius at identifying ideas and creating cinematic masterpieces from them. My love for superheroes and fantasy ensured that I liked Percy Jackson, Ironman 2 and Clash of the Titans. Shrek 4 was also a lot of fun, but the 3D glasses gave me a headache at the end of the movie. I was slightly disappointed by Alice in Wonderland, cant exactly pinpoint the reason why, but its was definitely not a bad movie. Maybe my expectations from the Burton-Depp partnership were too high.

On the hindi movie front am looking forward to watching Once Upon a Time in Mumbai, once again my love for gangster flicks will ensure that I watch this on the first day. I missed Tere Bin Laden and hope to watch it soon. On the english movie front, am eagerly awaiting the biggest of them all - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 in November. The trailer look great and I think this is one film which will rival 'The Return of the King' and Avatar in terms of gross.

My tryst with Cycling

I have been a sports enthusiast for as long as I can remember, I grew up watching Kapil Dev and Sachin doing their thing on the cricketing field, watching the football world cup and Becker-Edberg matches in Wimbeldon. Cricket, Tennis and Football were always the sports which I liked to follow and watch. FI got added to that list when I watched Ayrton Senna win the Monaco Grand Prix once on Doordarshan (yes they used to show such stuff sometimes). Since F1 was not very popular in India at that time (early 90s), Sportstar (a sports magazine from the Hindu Group) used to be a treasured possession for me because it used to have a 2 page feature on F1 results. Week after week I obsessed over the Senna-Prost rivalry.

With the advent of Start Sports and ESPN in India, Basketball got added to the list of sports I followed. Of course being the patriotic Indian that I am, following Chess and the results of Anand was mandatory. Following so many sports, studying stats and remembering records somewhat assuaged the guilt which I felt for not playing any sport seriously (Tennis happened much later in life). Cycling never figured on my radar, like most people around I knew who Lance Armstrong was, but nothing more than that about the sport. The Tour De France was a small 2 column article in the Times of India sports pages for 21 days in July, and year after year it reaffirmed that Lance Armstrong was the best cyclist in the Tour.

Lance retired after winning an impressive 7 Tour De France titles (the most by any rider) and cycling was promptly forgotten. However last year my curiosity about the sport was revived with the news that Armstrong was coming out of retirement to contest in the Tour De France again. Like me thousands of people who knew little about cycling but knew Armstrong started following cycling. And trust me, it was the most confusing sport ever. A person could win many many stages in a Tour but still wont be the champion, someone could be the champion without winning a single stage in a tour. Every stage or race was different and we could not have a single favourite for each stage. Yes tennis has its different surfaces and cricket its different pitches which support fast bowlers or spinners, but this was completely different. Tennis had Federer and Nadal who could dominate on every surface because they were good players, Cricket had its batsmen who could attack both spinners and fast bowlers, but I just didn't get cycling.

Cycling had its sprinters, time triallists and climbers. It also had its classics specialists and stage race specialists. A rider could be a good climber and a good time triallist (Contador, Armstrong etc) but could not excel at sprinting (maybe the great Eddy Mercxx was). Some riders could easily win races on short climbs but would fare miserably on longer ones. Slowly I started grasping the basics of the sport, learned what terms like peleton and domestique meant and surprisingly I found it to be quite an interesting sport. It is a rare combination of an individual and a team sport. Yes winners are individuals, but they cannot win without the help of their team. In my humble opinion its the ultimate team sport.

Sounds like a random statement from someone who has been following cycling for just two years? Let me explain. What is a team sport all about? A bunch of talented individuals performing together for a common cause. Great players who put individual glory and egos aside for the team.  Cycling is all that and much more. Great cycling performances (am sure greats like Armstrong and Contador would acknowledge) are due to a strong team backing you. Domestiques protecting their team leader during tough climbs, reining in the attackers to defend the leaders position, lead out men producing bursts of speed to guide sprinters to victory in a group sprint are all examples of great team play. And its not even a sport where pure strength and stamina can win the day for you. Yes, its an endurance sport, but to excel you need to understand your body, train it and ensure that your performance peaks at the right moment. To add to the excitement there are lots of unknown factors which can alter the outcome of a race like crashes, punctures and bike malfunction. Weather also plays an important role, a rainy or an extremely hot day can wreck havoc in the peleton.

Cycling races tend to be long (around 150-200 kms average), so they usually last for 4-5 hrs so its slightly boring to watch, but the last half hour of any cycling race can be as exciting as the best football and tennis matches. The attacks and counter attacks, the build up to a bunch sprint and the sprint itself are as much fun to watch as the finale of a mountain stage where an attack in the final few kms can make or break a grand tour conquest. What we have is an overall package of entertainment - an individual sport where team support plays an important role. Many different types of races to cater to individual interests (sprints, climbs, time trials). Many different factors which affect the outcome of a race (cobbles, team support, weather, form etc) and many different events (Classics, short stage races, grand tours) to keep the average cycling enthusiast occupied. As an added bonus, its a sport which promotes a healthy and green lifestyle.

Thanks to Mr Armstrong, I am a passionate follower of cycling as a sport and will soon be buying a good bike when I move to an area where cycling daily is possible. Every sport has its heroes, great personalities who by their sheer charisma transform the sport into something popular and magical. Tiger Woods did it for golf and Federer (to a certain extent) for tennis. Thanks to Lance Armstrong and his high profile friends cycling is now noticed across the globe, a little more push outside Europe and we shall soon have a global sport followed by millions.

Hmmm...

Four years ago I started this blogs with lots of ideas and dreams in my eyes (sounds like a nice speech beginning). It was cool to be blogging at that time (it still is), lots of people I knew were doing it so I jumped into the bandwagon. After a few heartfelt posts about B School and childhood where a lot of friends commented I kind of ran out of ideas to blog about. So I thought of blogging about social issues and be some sort of an activist. I always (secretly) wanted to be one, however apart from 2-3 social issues where I had a balanced view I had some sort of an extremist view about most and my posts would have been confined to abusing the idiots who caused the screw ups. Then I thought about blogging about movies and writing reviews, but once again I got bored of writing about and analysing movies. Finally I thought about writing stories, once again inspired by many bloggers who later turned writers, I thought maybe one day I could also...but I think that dream also needs to remain in cold storage for some time, mainly because hardly anyone reads my stories and also because I hardly have the time to update frequently.

So once again we are back to being random on the blog, an occasional life update and a story once in a while it will be for the time being. Once again thanks to the three and a half readers who faithfully checked week after week for an update and kept on asking me to write more.

On the life update side a lot has changed after the marriage, social responsibilities (read family) have increased (and so has socializing). Work is fun (as of now), I finally got the promotion so we have some much needed extra cash. Friends getting married real fast, one of the sons (in the fictional family) got married a few days ago, the other one is getting hitched in July, the Chosen One jumps in in Dec along with the first lady to join the family.

On the general interest front, June-July is the best possible time for a sports enthusiast. The Football world cup, Wimbledon and the Tour De France (ok..I know a lot of people don't follow cycling beyond Lance Armstrong, but I love the sport), yeah there is a cricket thing (Asia Cup me thinks) in between but without God I don't think I will be watching much of it.

Till then folks...

PS: A couple of people told me (yes 2 is a very small number, but I respect their opinion a lot) that metropolis is a good idea and if it is refined properly the stories could be fun...so am seriously thinking about it. And No, this is not with dreams of being the next big thing in Indian writing, its just for fun.

Thoughts on the Year and random predictions

The idea of updating the blog more frequently is definitely due to the lack of exciting things to do in office right now, but it does not mean that the blog will be orphaned when the rat race starts once again from next Monday. It is one of my resolutions (yes, I make them and stick to them seriously) to blog at least once a week in the coming year.

Am sure every year which passes by leaves us with a lot of emotions, most people I know term their year as a mixed one, for every happy occasion they have had two not-so-happy / sad ones. The current year has been eventful for me. It would be absolutely unfair to term it as good or bad. Starting with the wedding in the beginning of the year to the big deals cracked in office to the usual marriage related financial tension to the realization that the stress in office is here to stay; there has hardly a day which has been boring. When not faced with usual office / home / marriage / money related moments many books and movies made life fun and interesting.

I would love to do a 'My Top 5 of Everything' kind of a list for various things in the year (in fact started by doing the movie post last week), but then I would be intensely personal and would not be appreciated by all. So I will instead focus on some interesting trends / incidents in public domain which I witnessed this year and my thoughts on the same.

The Ambani War: Though both the brothers have enough shady deals / skeletons in the closets, my sympathies in this one lie with the younger one. Simply for the fact that the Government has put the weight of its entire machinery behind the elder one, and whenever the government does something like that there is something fishy. Picture this, older and younger brother sign a deal and get it approved by High Court, Government is aware of this. Now 5 years later government comes out with a policy which supposedly favours the elder one and says that his deal with the younger one is invalid. And then they make some weird noises about how a PSU should be treated differently than a private entity, pls tell me why? Elder one is of course happy and repeats the lame line in SC 'We cannot do anything without government consent'. If he was aware of this why the hell did he sign the freakin deal 5 years ago, unless of course the intent was mala fide and he knew the government would back him when we wanted to dishonor the deal. SC will reprimand the elder one and the government, but the younger won’t get any gas.

The Mumbai Traffic: I started my career working in Nariman Point 4 and a half years ago, after some drunken moments at Ruby Tuesday I would sometimes take a cab home, I would usually reach home in 45 mins - 1 hr (in the normal post 8.30-9.00 pm traffic), worst case scenario it would take one hour fifteen mins max. Now it takes me 1 and a half hours minimum and the maximum till now has been 2 hrs 45 mins. Having made this point, I simply have 3 observations to make.

• Number of cars are increasing and road length is not.
• Number of potholes / constructions for metro / monorail / telephone cables / flyovers / any other random thing have exponentially increased, none of the proposed flyovers or rail projects look close to completion in the next 2 years
• No one in the BMC / State Government cares about the traffic.

The Merus and Megacabs have made travelling slightly more comfortable, but as usual the political rascals had to screw things up, so antiquated black and yellow cabs continue to fleece us, ricks still make the deafening sound. But who cares...the cab and rick drivers are an important vote bank, let them fleece the middle class who anyways never turns out in full strength to support us.

The Great Indian Political Drama: With the retarded leftists silenced, we will have a stable government for the next 5 years but,

• Sycophantic congressmen will still bypass ministers / relevant authorities and try to get in the good books of Soniaji and Rahulji
• Mayawati will still treat UP like her fiefdom and do what she wants, law and Supreme Court be damned
• BJP will continue fighting and gift the next few state elections (save Gujarat) to the Congress so that the whole cycle of extreme corruption can begin again (yes the BJP guys are also bad, but not even half as experienced as their congress counterparts)
• MNS will continue bashing up random people from time to time to get mileage; Sena will retaliate by bashing up more random and innocent people in a game of one upmanship.
• Karunanidhi and his family / cronies will try to make up for the loss of income in Delhi (due to a strict PM) by plundering TN and ensuring that the coffers are completely empty by the time the fat lady gets her chance to steal.
• Expect many more morchas / dharnas / marches / fasts for statehoods

Global Relationships: US will continue saying nice things to us and continue giving money to Pakistan. China will continue its aggressive stance and our fattu ministers and officials will continue saying its nothing to be concerned about. Aussies will continue bashing Indians both on and off the cricket field.

Sports: As usual the administrators lived up to their reputation and screwed everything possible. In cricket we had bad pitches to shady state board elections to random sackings of professional event managers. In Hockey the mystery about who controls the game in India still continues, on the field we managed to draw a few games against also rans like Belgium and China, I don’t think the big boys like Germany, Holland and Australia even wanna play with us. In Chess, the AICF duffer continued harassing Humpy, thank god Anand shifted to Spain so that he could concentrate on his chess and not internal squabbles. As usual Mr Kalmadi emptied the funds made available for the CWG and ensured that preparations are way behind schedule.

Ok..Now this is developing into a full on rant session, so I better go and get myself some food.For people mentioned in the blog (I know you don’t read it but anyways...) pls not to take offense uncle, I was only joking.

In which we write about our favorite movies of the year..

I have always been fascinated by lists, on the back of my notebooks through schools i have many rankings of superheroes, actors, actresses, films, sportstars and many other things which have held my interest. Below lists are basis my evaluation, as usual the things i look for in a movie are: Entertainment Value, Story, Direction and Performances. I don't really care about sad, depressing films having a lot of artistic value.

Being the sucker that i am i am only going to rate the hindi movies which i have seen through the year. Have seen some decent Hollywood stuff too..but too little..and anyways Avatar and Inglourious Basterds easily overwhelm everything else (i don't really care for depressing films like The Hurt Locker and Precious). So here goes:

Best Film:

1. Kaminey
2. Gulaal
3. Luck by Chance
4. Dev D
5. Paa

Honourable Mention: Rocket Singh

Dark Horse: 3 Idiots (i might have to change my list on Monday)

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Ignore Dev D, Gulaal and LBC completely, they will nominate shit like Ajab Prem Ki..and Wanted (nothing against the movie, i thought it was entertaining, but not exactly top 5 stuff), and yes..they will also nominate Love Aaj Kal.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:

1. Amitabh (Paa)
2. Shahid (Kaminey)
3. Abhay Deol (Dev D)
4. Ranbir Kapoor (Rocket Singh)
5. Will leave this vacant in anticipation of Aamir Khan occupying it for 3I but in the unlikely case that he screws up, this should be a toss up between Ranbir for Wake up Sid and Farhan for LBC

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Ranbir will get nominated but for Ajab Prem Ki.., Sallu has to be humoured by nominating him for Wanted, Saif of course for Love Aaj Kal (maybe Kurbaan also), Abhay will be ignored. I don't think anyone can ignore Amitabh or Shahid for their performances.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading role:

1. Priyanka (Kaminey)
2. Konkona (LBC)
3. Vidya Balan (Paa)
4. Kareena (Kurbaan)
5. Will leave this vacant in case Kareena does a good job in 3I else i will put Konkona here for Wake up Sid

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Katrina Kaif is the flavour of the season, so she will definately get nominated for Ajab Prem Ki or New York (or horror of all horrors-BOTH), Deepika has to be appreciated for looking wooden in LAK, Konkona can be ignored-she is anyways supporting actress material. The award should be a toss between Priyanka or Katrina (whoever charges less for her performance will win).

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:

1. Aditya Srivastava (Gulaal)
2. Amol Gupte (Kaminey)
3. Chandan Sanyal (Kaminey)
4. Rishi Kapoor (LBC)
5. Will levae this vacant for Sharman / Madhavan in 3I if not then a toss up between Kay Kay Menon (Gulaal) and Abhimanyu Singh (Gulaal), if Sharman and Madhavan both do well then maybe Rishi goes out of the list.

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Rishi will get nominated but for LAK, how can Neil Mukesh be ignored for looking spastic in New York

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

1. Ayesha Mohan (Gulaal)
2. Arundhati Nag (Paa)
3. Kalki Koechlin (Dev D)
4. Gauhar Khan (Rocket Singh)
5. Cant think of any other notable performances..maybe Dimple in LBC, but i dont feel it was top 5 level

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Kiron Kher has to be nominated for Kurbaan, Gulaal has to be ignored, maybe some sidey performance from LAK, Delhi 6, Ajab Prem Ki might be nominated, i think they will do eenie meeney miney mo to decide the winner.

Best Music of the Year:

1. Kaminey
2. Gulaal
3. Dev D
4. Delhi 6
5. Love Aaj Kal

What the retards at Filmfare will do: Ignore Dev D and Gulaal, enter New York, Ajab Prem Ki

Coming up: More lists about sports, music :-)

Life Update

Firstly, Thank you to the 6 faithful friends who regularly keep checking this space for updates. Lots of things have happened since i last blogged and have been wanting to update people about them since the past 4-5 weeks but laziness and lethargy took over.

Anyways, its been more than 10 months since i have been married, its has been an eventful ride. The wife has finally made the shift to Mumbai (she still hates the city though) and has joined a MNC Bank (yeah yeah...the firangiis are going to suck our blood). What to do...the money looked good. However her office is now in Bandra, which means we get to spend very little time with each other (her office used to be in fort earlier).

Tennis is coming along just fine, the wife also plays (occasionally). Its the only thing currently which is refreshing and cheers me. Apart from this quality of life is steadily deteriorating. The travel time between home and office is increasing by the day, at last count i was spending close to 3 hours in the car everyday. Trains are still not an option, mainly because Mom is still skeptical about them and secondly after a hard day of work at office, i definitely do not appreciate getting crushed under the mass of humanity at Kurla station every evening.

On the professional front, i had a great year, earned decent revenues, targets were met, new heights were achieved, but all this counted up to almost nothing, coz the bank as a whole had a lousy year (screw you fraud clients who made us lose millions). However the year ended on a very bad note when i lost a million dollar client who conveniently moved business to another MNC who was slightly less greedy. So next year is going to a very tough (i can already visualise the arguments / heated discussions at home due to my late comings).

Looking forward to:
- The promotion i have been waiting for ages
- The anniversary celebrations in Goa in Feb-10
- Many close friends getting married in 2010

Coming soon:
- A new layout for the blog (yes..i am technically literate)
- Lots of posts about movies and books

Note: This time i plan to treat the 'Coming Soon' thing real seriously. I swear.

Back...

The marriage is finally over...and so is the audit...although the sceptre of another scary 'credit quality' audit stares us in the face, i guess we shall survive the rest of the year without any mishap.

Lot of changes happening in life, most good :-)

Lot of new things to remember / take care of, but the experience is quite fun. Watching 52 movies this year looks tough. Recession / lack of quality movies and hectic schedules to blame. Count now stands at -5, but hopefully things should improve once the wife moves here with bag and baggage, being a weekend husband is not so much fun for weeks at a stretch.

To the friends who feel persona has changed and so have priorities since marriage, pls to be patient... getting used to big changes takes time.

Other plans for the year include working on the tennis game, putting those running shoes on and finally be in shape to run 21 kms next jan.

More on the wife, movies and other interesting stuff next week.

Important Anouncement

But till we are built like angels,
With hammer and chisel and pen,
We will work for our self
And a woman, for ever and ever, Amen.
- Rudyard Kipling

After endless deliberations with various stakeholders in my life, numerous attempts to run away from fate and hold on to the cozy and comfortable past, i admit that i have spectacularly failed and have submitted myself to the rules and customs of the civilised society. Fate has finally dealt the fatal blow to my innocence and freedom.

Now that i have played around with words to keep up with the pretense of being learned, let me put it across simply.

I am going to get married. Engagement is in December and marriage is in Feb-March. Dates have not been finalised yet.

Engagement will be in Mumbai, Marriage in Aurangabad and Reception once again in Mumbai. (for people who are wondering about travelling to aurangabad, worry not, in laws promise a good welcome, hospitality and a jolly good time taking inspiration from the Barjatiyas, Chopras and the Johars)

Her name is Shweta, she is an engineer-MBA, currently working in ICICI Bank in Pune, will get a transfer to Mumbai in a few months.

So please to keep yourself free for all the festivities and drunken revelries. Formal invitations, silly looking photographs, dates and invitational phone calls follow.

Movie watching target

After narrowly missing my movie watching target last year i promised myself that i will reach the magic figure of 52 no matter what happens. And am quite happy that it is going quite comfortably right now. With week no. 30 coming to an end my tally stands at 36.

So if everything goes according to the script i should have reached the magic figure by October end. The only assumption here is that both bollywood and hollywood will have at least average watchable movies lined up . By average and watchable i mean one should not feel like wasting 150 bucks after 2 hours in the theater.

I have made an attempt to rate the hindi and english movies i have seen from January till date on the basis of the following criteria:

• Entertaining
• Good Story
• Great performances

English:

1. The Dark Knight
2. Kung Fu Panda
3. Ironman
4. Horton Hears a Who
5. Juno

Hindi:

1. Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na
2. Mithya
3. Aamir

I don't think i can rank top 5 hindi movies looking at the crappy standards which we have seen till now. I sincerely hope things improve from now on.

Was very impressed by some performances also, more about that in a later post.

Life Update

Feels good to know some people still read the blog. Life is in a moving quite slowly right now. A quick round up of the happenings.

• New client portfolio has been allotted in office, slightly better than previous ones, boss says i will make more money off these clients. I will say something only after a couple of months.
• Mom still worried about getting me married. Me still chilled and claiming i am only 26. Weekend arguments still on.
• Immense dissatisfaction with salary still there. However plans of quitting on hold for the time being till i am able to figure out the new portfolio thing.
  
• Trip planned towards the month end with the sons and the latest lady to join the family. Cause for happiness :-)
• Plan to watch 52 movies this year is firmly on track. Present count is 24, watching Indiana Jones tonight and Sarkar Raaj tomorrow so will meet my half yearly target with 3 weeks to spare. cause for pride (and a little happiness also).

Thank you to the chosen one, friend from the east, old friend and new friend for still bothering to drop in and reading the blog.

Coming soon:
Tales form the Metropolis - 4 (The three tasks) (in which agememnon makes a plan to reclaim his supremacy)
Pictures of the new house (immense pride once again)

Tales from the Metropolis - 3 (where we stand today)

The rise and fall of human civilization has been the eternal conundrum. A subject which has fascinated many learned men. The emergence and re-emergence of magic, the appearance and disappearance of various races, the unbelievable rise of science and technology and its equally baffling fall to medieval depths have all contributed to the intrigue surrounding human civilization.

The first age ended when Frodo took the ship to Valinor with all the ring bearers. This was followed by a rapid and inexplicable disappearance of elves, dwarves, hobbits and all the old creatures of lore. Kingdoms and dynasties emerged a bit of magic still remained but technology started making rapid strides. Religion emerged as an authority and the conflict between faith and rationality caused another upheaval in the world. The second age ended with Lord Asriel establishing the Republic of Heaven.

Very few details are known about the time in between the great ages. However historians claim that this was the time when the triggers for change were activated and if we are able to know what happened during this period we might be able to solve the mystery of civilization as well. The third age saw the continued dominance of technology and thankfully ended when the chosen one finally saved zion and destroyed the citadel of the architect. Surprisingly in the fourth age humans chose to ignore technology, research was banned and the focus was on the development of human values. Magic made its reappearance and many old magical beings were frequently sighted. However the magic and magical beings stayed on the fringes of human society, the humans held absolute power over the world and its future. The magical beings also did not resent this and expressed a desire to co-exist peacefully with their less magical brethren.

The coexistence of humans and magical beings led to many new races and orders being formed. The Jedi, the Ninjas and the Samurai were the predominant orders formed in humans due to their knowledge of magic. Powerful races like druids and shadow snatchers emerged due to cross breeding amongst magical and non magical races.

It was in the beginning of the fourth age that the map of the world as we know it was redrawn. The Island kingdom emerged as the most powerful settlement in terms of military power and economic growth. The Republic was a close second and was acknowledged the world over as a centre of learning and the seat of ancient magical craft. The Northern kingdom mainly kept to itself and rarely meddled in world affairs. The Southern and Eastern states were the cause of many a war and represented the rising order. They wanted to supplant the Island Kingdom and The Republic in terms of territorial strength, military power and economic prowess. However they feared the military strength of the Island and the mysterious magical powers of the Republic. So all their efforts were restrict to covert operations and spying.

Our story begins towards the end of the fourth age. The Republic is deeply fragmented and there is a struggle for power. The national council (containing representatives form all states and cities) is falling apart. The eastern states are trying to take advantage of the situation and induct their own men into the national council. The economic power of the republic lies in the metropolis. Anyone who controls the metropolis will in effect control the republic and needless to say will have a very important say in world affairs.

Odysseus, Achilles, Agamemnon, Leonidas, Ajax and their clan belonged the the human race. Our stories follow the events which unfold when the struggle for power unfolds in the metropolis and how its affects the republic and the world order. Druids and shadow snatchers have an important part to play, so do robots and the orders of jedi, ninja and samurai warriors.

Each and every one of these races, their characteristics and events have been shamelessly copied from books which the author grew up reading and the fertile imagination of his idle brain has contributed to the structure of this tale which is his fantasy played out in words.

State of Mind

Five months into the 2008 and still no big reason to be happy. Actually its not surprising considering the fact that my happiest moment of 2007 was when Sreesanth took the catch which made us world champions. Some observations / emotions / feelings experienced detailed below.

• Pride in owning my first house
• Pain of losing a close friend
• Extended periods of inactivity affecting the ability / creativity of the brain
  
• Anger / Sorrow every time i look at my payslip
• Sadness on the confirmation of the inevitable
• Irritation at the unbelievable amount of illogical / irrational / retarded / spastic behavior i have been observing around me for the past 3 months
• Feeling of heightened stupidity when i start believing that the best way to constructively utilize time in office is to update blog which no one has bothered to read in past one year
  

Am still in the process of figuring out the purpose of this blog. Maybe to update people in lands far far away about my life, maybe to comment / complain / offer opinion of things which people generally don't care about or maybe to continue writing tales from the city - a shameless attempt to blend fiction, mythology, fantasy and real life incidents, which surprisingly a couple of people found interesting. Thank you to the 2 people who liked it, you are my inspiration to continue writing.

If you are still there keep watching this space for updates and developments in the plot.

Tales from the Metropolis - Part 2 (How they Began)

(The below post and this series is entirely a work of fiction. Although some might believe its an exaggerated version of some real life incidents which seek to glorify the protagonist. However the author would like the maintain the pretense of humility which he claims he has stood for all his life.)

Achilles was just 18 when the first great war had begun. His penchant to strike the right deals and know the right people made him very valuable and resulted in him being appointed chief adviser to Commander Raphael who led the forces of evil against the Jedi council. Meticulous planning and flawless execution of several ambushes and financial scams was his forte and he did that with aplomb during the great war breaking the backbone of the enemy. With the war almost won, Raphael wanted to move in for the kill and eliminate all the remaining Jedi warriors it was Achilles who made him see some sense and got him to enlist the services of the survivors. "If they could survive our relentless onslaught for the past 6 months and still regroup and plot against us then they are gifted, incredibly so.." was his retort when other generals opposed his idea. The Jedi, tired of running and living underground gratefully accepted his offer and being the noble race they were, never forgot the favor Achilles had done to them by sparing their lives. They were the founding blocks of his army, the army which the world would later annihilate all traces of evil from the Satellite city and usher in an era of dominance by the 'Family'.

(The Great War was fought in AD 2125 for the control of the Satellite City, a suburb of the Metropolis. The city was ruled by the noble clan of Jedi warriors who stood for righteousness and truth. Their dominance was challenged by the evil forces of General Raphael. Although the Jedi were much more powerful and had technology and money at their disposal, it is widely believed that their downfall was plotted by an unknown strategist. It is rumored that a young boy acting as the adviser of the general was responsible for the tactical warfare which led to the collapse of their industries and banks, which in turn led to a local uprising signaling the beginning of the decline of the Jedi empire.)

In AD 2110, Odysseus entered the limits of Silicon City to work as a waiter in the 'Water Down Cafe'. 10 hours of hard work later he joined the street hustlers to gamble. He was one of the gifted few who could take big risks without battling an eyelid and could keep his nerves during the all important finish. The waiters salary was just a facade to maintain legitimate income, Odysseus was one of the wealthiest hustlers in the Silicon City. He would bet on just about everything, right from race results to the weather to shares to the good old game of blackjack. But behind the calm face was a raging storm, he was in the city on a purpose and he had to achieve it somehow. Count Dooku had led to his downfall from one of the most promising student activists in the country to a disgraced criminal who would be hounded by the red brigade for the rest of his life. It was Count Dooku who ruled the Silicon City when the great student riots happened. In a span of 24 hours Dooku's empire was reduced to ashes. It is said that the rebel student groups who fought against the might of Dooku and eventually killed him were not even from Silicon City. They were mercenaries hired by many charitable trusts in the city. These trusts were secretly financed by a group of hustlers who claimed they were fed up of Dooku's oppressive tax regime. Some claim that the group was just a front to shield one powerful and immensely wealthy hustler who harbored a personal grudge against Dooku. Till date no one in Silicon City knows his name.

(The riots of AD 2123 in the Silicon City began as minor student protests against the forces of Dooku accidentally hitting one of their brethren. However in a span of 24 hrs they grew into a massive fight against the state machinery. Thousands of students mysteriously joined the protests overnight and attacked all state offices and virtually burned down the city. Elders say that it was one powerful individual who orchestrated this slaughter to gain revenge against Dooku who had cut one of his fingers when he had led a similar students uprising against Dooku's mentor down south)

(to be continued...)